Kevin and I met when I was 15 years old. Looking back now, we truly were just babies. We had NO CLUE what we were in for when I said yes to his invitation out on Valentine’s Day. I swear I was a pity date. He may say differently. I will spare you the long, drawn out story of what it took to get to this date. Let’s just say I am glad my parents “strongly suggested” that I say yes if the “cute boy from church” asked me on a date.
I love looking back at old photos. If you know me at all, you know I have thousands. This picture is of Kevin and I at his junior prom. We had only been together for three months. I love looking at this photo and remembering everything about young love. I love seeing how we have changed through the years. I love thinking about our journey. And I love thinking about the lessons we have learned along the way. As I think about these lessons, some advice has popped into my head. You can agree, disagree, or be impartial. That’s okay. But this is what I have learned.
The honeymoon stage is real. For a while, either early in dating, in the engagement period, or in the early stage of marriage, everything is laughs, smiles, gifts, and putting each other first always. Then, gradually, life happens, Things happen. Schedules take over. Demands become more, and time with each other becomes less. This is normal. It’s not bad. It’s how you respond that matters. Do you continue to fight for your relationship, or do you let the world get in the way?
Bodies change. Yes, I said it! Bodies can change for bad or for worse, but they change. After two kids I can tell you things just aren’t quite the way they used to be. Too much pizza and ice cream, lack of time to work out, and busy schedules can all contribute. Don’t get attached to looks, get attached to the heart.
Time is important. When you first get together, all you have is time. You make it a priority to spend as much time together as possible. But then, jobs happen. Life happens. A million people need a million things from you at once. Sometimes you don’t see each other for a span of time. It is important to still make time for one another. Even if it is just setting aside a little time for a conversation, do it.
Now, do me a favor. Look at your significant other. Really look at him/her. Is this the person you can’t live without? Is this the person that, when you think of the trials that come with life, you want to have by your side? Is this the person that, regardless of how their body changes, you will always find to be the most attractive person on the planet? Is this the person you want to argue with, and make up with, for the rest of your life? Is this the person that, when you think about losing them, you hurt inside? If so, you are doing something right. You are on the right track. In the tough moments, hang on tight. You will get through it, and you will get through it together.
This journey isn’t always easy, but it is ALWAYS worth it.
Real Teacher Real Life 