One Word

The other day, Kevin and I were sitting on the couch. I was aimlessly scrolling through Facebook, and one of those “ask your spouse” quizzes popped up.  We weren’t watching anything of importance, so I paused to ask Kevin the questions.  We giggled about the answers, and we agreed on most of them.  Then this question popped up.  What is the one word you don’t want to be called?  My husband then said, “Lazy.”

His answer caught me off guard.  I don’t know what I expected him to say, but lazy wasn’t what I was thinking.  Then I realized he knows me better than I know myself.  Ever since that moment, I have thought about his answer.  It is true….100% true.  I don’t ever want to be seen, thought of, or suspected of being lazy.

If any of you know me well, you know I have a hard time saying no…or at least….I used to.  This stems from the deep need to NEVER be viewed as lazy. I have to-do lists at work and home that I follow religiously.  I am constantly moving, constantly doing something, constantly finding something that must be done!  Sitting still and having “me” time isn’t okay.  At least, that is what I used to think.  I thought this was a sign of laziness.

Vacations, recovery after surgeries, after having children….any instance where “laziness” is completely acceptable…I found myself struggling tremendously.  Heck, the picture above is a beach vacation where I took it upon myself to hold everyone’s things while they went frolicking in the water. I have been known to try to do laundry one handed after carpal tunnel release surgery.  I have carried laundry down the stairs while on crutches.  Why?  All in the name of not giving anyone a smidge of an opportunity to call me lazy.

Where does this need to not be viewed as lazy come from?  I don’t know.  My family instilled in me a strong work ethic….and I have continued to abide by that to this day.  I think with that, I decided somewhere along the line, that I would never be lazy.  No one has ever thought this of me, at least to my knowledge, but it still is a very large fear of mine.

I know I’m not alone.  Scroll through Facebook right now. Do it.  What do you notice?  At least three people posted pictures or a status about something they accomplished today.  Why?  They don’t want people to think they are lazy.  Take a look at your calendar, your to do list, your days coming up. Are they packed full with chores?  More often than not, they are.  You don’t want to be viewed as lazy either. Welcome to the club.

So what?  What do we do about this?  Well, we hear about self care all the time.  I think there is great value in this. Do something for yourself every day.  Even if it is 10 minutes.  Do it.  You’re worth it.  You will be a better mom, dad, friend, sibling, co-worker, etc. if you take care of yourself.  No one will think you’re lazy for taking a few minutes for yourself.  As I have started to do this, I have noticed I am more emotionally available for my family.

Learn to say no.  Now, I’m not telling you to just stop doing things.  However, as I said yes to everything, I realized the time I spent with my family was suffering.  It took a Saturday of doing  chores for 12 hours to really see what I was doing to myself and my family.  It’s okay to say no.  It’s okay to ask for help.  It’s okay.

That person who walked past you while you were doing something for yourself; I guarantee you they don’t think you’re lazy. They probably think how awesome it would be for them to be able to do that for themselves.  So…I challenge you to tell others how awesome they are.  Tell them you notice how hard they work.  Tell them it’s okay to take a moment for themselves.  It’s okay.  Don’t worry, you aren’t lazy.

Now, go take a load off.  You deserve it.