We hear a lot of talk lately about self care. As mom’s we often put ourselves last. Our families come first. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I believe anyway, that this is absolutely how life should work.
Being a mom to a six year old and a 10 month old, being a wife, and being a fourth grade teacher stretches me pretty thin at times. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely blessed to be all of things. But there are times where I can do nothing but cry at the end of the day. Exhaustion, self doubt, stress, anxiety, fear; so many things take over.
This past week, I did something I have never done before. My mom and I took off, yes in the middle of a school week, and flew down to Florida to visit my aunt and uncle. We went for many different reasons, but one was for a little brain break. Being around water makes my heart feel free, so these few days came at just the right time. However, the devil tried to take over.
The day before we left, my six year old came down with the puking flu. I thought he was getting better the day we left. In reality, he felt icky for four days. Three days into the trip, I received a call that my ten month old had come down with the same flu. (By the way…we are six days in and she still has some flu stuff going on.) Then, my husband caught some lovely poison ivy on his arm from cutting wood for our wood burning furnace. That’s not a big deal..until it turned into a skin infection. My mother in law is a saint and kept the sick kiddos…which then caused her to get the flu. ALL OF THIS HAPPENED WHILE I WAS IN FLORIDA!
Talk about mom guilt. Everyone kept reassuring me that it was okay and things happen…but I couldn’t help but feel so guilty.
Then, I came back to my classroom. We had crazy weather, which had thrown all of my plans off, and I came back to a complete disaster. It took me a full day to sort out what was what.
Talk about teacher guilt.
As I sat and reflected that evening, I immediately began attacking and questioning myself. This is so stupid!!! I did nothing wrong. I took time to be with my family and to take care of myself. There is nothing wrong with that. My children were well taken care of, I did everything I could to prepare my classroom, and I made sure everything was in order before I left. There is literally nothing else I could have done.
So now, I sit here reflecting on all of this. I know I am not the only mom or teacher or woman out there who has experienced this feeling. We are so quick to attack ourselves and convince ourselves that it’s not okay to take a breather. We need to stop doing that.
To the worn out person who is reading this…it’s okay to take a moment for yourself. Shut yourself in your room and eat a candy bar. Eat the entire pint of ice cream. Send the kiddos to grandma’s for the night. Take a drive and listen to your favorite boy band music loudly. Go out to eat. Order in to eat. Jump on a plane and get out of here for a few days. Do what you need to do to take care of you. It’s okay. You’re allowed.
And if you struggle with giving yourself permission to do so, I will do it for you. I give you permission to take care of yourself. Now go!
Real Teacher Real Life 