Confession…..I cried

It was the summer of 2013.  I had just finished my fourth year of teaching Kindergarten in Muncie, IN.  My commute to school was about half an hour, one way, every day.  I loved my school, I loved my grade level, and I loved my co-workers.  But a position opened in my home town, and I jumped at the chance to apply.

I was born and raised in Winchester, IN.  Upon graduating college, I married my high school sweetheart.  We made the decision to plant our roots in Winchester.  At a time when many of our friends were moving away, we decided to stay in the town we loved.  I looked and looked for a teaching position in Winchester, but nothing was available at the time.

Flash forward four years later.  I had a baby boy and a husband that I saw less than I wanted to because of my commute.  When I found out that a position had opened up in Winchester, I applied immediately.

I received the call to interview at Willard Elementary School a few days after I had  knee surgery.  I also had just dyed some of my hair pink.  So, my appearance wasn’t exactly ideal for an interview I had waited for my entire life.

On the morning of the interview, my mom came and helped me hide the pink in my hair by styling it a certain way.  She helped me pick clothing that would work with my crutches, but still looked professional.  She pumped me up, prayed for me, and sent me on my way.  (I am not ashamed to stay I still need my mommy more than ever.)

I walked into the Willard Elementary School office, well…more like hobbled in, with a heart overflowing with nerves and hope.  As I sat down to interview with, what I hoped would by my new principal, I became very overwhelmed. Here I was, four years into my career, interviewing to teach in my hometown.  The town I had lived in and loved my entire life.

As the interview began, I was nervous yet poised.  I answered every question with as much clarity and ease as my brain and heart would allow.  Everything was going well!  And then it happened.  The question was asked, “Why do you want to teach here?”

I started explaining how I had felt the calling to be a teacher when I was in second grade at Baker Elementary School.  I told this principal, who knew nothing about me, about loving this town and wanting to give back to this place I have always called home.  All of a sudden, I could feel the makings of tears.  I tried to keep talking, answering the question, without sounding teary.  And then, the dam  burst.  Here I was blubbering through an interview, with someone who didn’t know me.

I was able to pull myself together a few moments later, finish the interview, and apologize a million times for my embarrassing show of emotion.  When I got in the car, I called my mom and told her what had happened.  I just knew I had blown the interview.  I mean, who sits and cries in an interview? I was mortified. I began to prepare myself for the rejection phone call I just knew was going to happen.

A few days later, the principal who interviewed me, called me.  I answered the phone….a bundle of nerves…waiting to hear the news.  That unknown principal, who is now Mr. Duncan-the principal of Willard Elementary School AND my boss, offered me the fourth grade teaching position at Willard.  I don’t exactly remember how I reacted.  I know there was a shocked feeling as I accepted the offer. As I got off the phone, tears started again.  At least, this time, I held it together until after I got off the phone.

A few years later, the topic of my crying during my interview came up between Mr. Duncan and I.  I laughed and told him how embarrassed I was and how I was also convinced that I had blown the interview.  He told me that my crying was actually one of the reasons he hired me.  When I asked if I was a pity hire, he laughed and said no.  He said that the tears showed him just how passionate I was about this profession, this town, and these incredible kiddos.

My interview was just the first of many times that I have cried in Mr. Duncan’s office.  Anyone who knows me knows that tears are how I express a whole mixture of emotions. Anywhere from frustration, to sadness, to anxiety, and excitement.  It’s who I am.  And now, I know Mr. Duncan understands this is how I react to things.  I don’t worry so much about it anymore.

Don’t be afraid to be who you are.  Don’t count yourself out because you have shown your true self.  Sure, some people won’t appreciate it. However, those that matter will understand your heart and where you are coming from.  Go be you!  Go be incredible!