Christmas is over (that seems impossible).  The end of the year is rapidly approaching.  As the new year comes barreling toward me, I always like to reflect on the past 12 months.  Many people do this, so I’m not special in this regard.

2018 has been a big year for our family.  We added to our family, our oldest started Kindergarten, we had many trips to Dale Hollow Lake, and we visited the beach.  We have had laughter, tears, fear, excitement, arguments, journeys, and new experiences.

As I reflect on all of these moments, I have learned to look for what God has taught me through it all.  I have learned many lessons.  I can see how God is molding me, shaping me, and preparing me.  I don’t think we are ever done growing.  I think God is a God who continually molds us, shapes us, teaches us, and changes us  This isn’t easy, especially for a control freak like me.  He is constantly teaching me, and reminding me, that I can’t control everything.  I like to try…..but it never works.

So, what awaits in 2019?  I have no idea.  I know changes will happen.  They may be big changes, or they may be small changes.  I can’t control that. I do know that I can control how I react to them.

God has big plans for everyone, every year.  What will you choose to do?  Will you step back, give up control, and listen?  Or will you ignore what God has planned and do your own thing?  My prayer is that I will be able to give up more control, and follow God’s path for my family and I.  His plans for my family are far bigger than my human brain can fathom. It’s time to truly let go, and truly let God.

Happy New Year to you and your family!  May you be blessed beyond measure.

It’s my favorite season of the year.  The time after Thanksgiving through New Year.  I love everything about it. The celebration of Christ’s birth, family, the get-togethers, the food, the laughter, the dreaming, the decorating…everything.  Well, maybe except snow.  That’s beside the point.

I find myself, every season, thinking more and more about Jesus’ mother Mary.  I often feel that she is sometimes forgotten.  She is an important person in this entire event.  Yes, the main focus is Christ, His coming, and what this meant for all of us.  However, I spend a lot of time thinking about the amazing woman that brought Jesus into this world.

I was looking through a gift catalog the other day and came to the figurine section.  One figurine caught my attention, and caused me to ponder Mary even more.  The figurine is of Mary and Joseph huddled together.  Mary is holding Jesus against her chest, with a blanket draped over him.  It brought me to tears.  The mom in me broke.  There Mary was, holding her first born in her arms, probably calming him and trying to get him to sleep.  She was feeding him, she was loving him, and she was hanging on to every moment.

Did she know?  Did she know what his life would bring?  When she looked at his precious face, could she even begin to fathom all that Jesus would face?  I think about the moments holding my own children, just like Mary in the figure.  I know the joy, the fear, the emotions, and the feelings that a mother feels in those moments.  She had to have felt the same.  And that moment that the figurine depicted absolutely broke my heart.  It also made me, as always, appreciate just how strong Mary had to be.

We often go into Christmas reading the Christmas story, not really stopping to think about the little moments.  I challenge you to read the Christmas story and think about those moments that came in between the words.  Take a moment to think about Mary and just how strong she truly was. Most of all, thank God for his gift of Jesus to this world.  After all, that’s what Christmas is all about.

You have done it!  Congratulations! You survived four years, or more, of college for this moment. You have been hired as a first year teacher.  All of your hard work has paid off!

You spend the second you are hired, until the second you have children walk into your room, making your classroom perfect.  You re-arrange, you clean, you set up a theme, you organize the materials, you make perfect lesson plans, and you pick the perfect outfit.  You have waited a long time for this moment.  You pray, you hope, you dream about this year.  You drive anxiously to school, you stand impatiently at your classroom door, and you finally see the first anxious face heading your way.  YOUR DREAMS HAVE FINALLY COME TRUE!

This is how I felt the first day of my teaching career.  I was so excited.  The moment I had waited for since second grade had finally arrived.  I was finally going to be a teacher in a Kindergarten classroom. My own classroom!  I can remember all of the emotions.  Excitement, anxiousness, frightened, giddy, joyful, and the list goes on.  I had prepared for so long, and I couldn’t wait to get my career started.

Then in happened……..the day wasn’t so perfect. Sure it was fun, exciting, and hectic.  But it was also a crazy mess.  The moment that stands out from this day happened when I least expected it.  I had always imagined Kindergarten students as pure, untouched by the world, and just full of joy. I had no idea otherwise. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

During a semi-calm moment, the students were coloring.  I was looking for materials for our next activity.  Before I could say or do anything, one of my precious little girls had climbed up onto the top of her table.  She then proceeded to grace the entire class with the “F” bomb.  She then got back into her chair, and got back to work.  I’m sure the look on my face was classic.  My eyes were wide, my mouth hung open, and my mind went blank.  Twenty seven little faces turned to me to see what I would do. I had no idea what to do.  They hadn’t taught this to me in college.  There was no class on “what to do when a student shouts an obscenity across the room.” So…in all of my young wisdom, I looked at this precious girl and said, “Honey, I’m not sure what words you are allowed to say at home, but we can’t say those words here.”

Shew.  I survived my first (of millions) test!  I look back on the moment and I laugh.  I laugh at how unprepared I was.  I laugh because this little girl really was one of the sweetest children I have ever taught.  I laugh because that first day was nowhere near what I expected.

Here I am, ten years later, still encountering unexpected lessons and tests in my classroom.  Most of them make me laugh.  Some challenge me. A few bring me to tears.  That’s the beauty of teaching. It is always changing. It is always different.  It always keeps you on your toes.

So the next time you plan something, be prepared.  Something may just happen to change your perspective, change your day, or change your dream.  Embrace it.  Laugh about it. Go for it!

It has been a few weeks since I have had time to sit and write.  I haven’t been avoiding writing, or ignoring writing, or discarding writing.  I have, instead been taken over by life.

Over fall break, my life felt completely out of control. Anyone who knows anything about me knows I MUST schedule every second of my life.  I follow the plan, and rarely deviate from the plan.  Yes, I know this is a problem, and yes I am working on it. Apparently I wasn’t working on it hard enough because God decided to step in. Our water quit working….our heat then went out of commission, and then a health crisis hit our family. Talk about schedule being blown.  I LOST IT.  I was not very nice.  I said things I shouldn’t have said, and I got angrier than I should have been.  I have since cried it out, prayed it out, talked it out, and am working on growing.

I say all of that to say this.  The world expects us to be perfect.  I don’t care if you are a single woman, a single man, a married person, what job you have, or if you are a parent or not.  The world expects perfection.  I mean, after all, did you see those Facebook posts, those Instagram photos, and those tweets?  Everyone is perfect except for me. We have all felt this way.  Well, I have news for you….

THE WORLD IS NOT PERFECT, PEOPLE ARE NOT PERFECT, AND YOU ARE NOT PERFECT!  And neither am I.

It’s okay to fall apart.  It’s okay to get angry.  It’s okay to be disappointed.  The important thing is that you learn, you grow, you push through it, your pick yourself up, you ask God for strength, and you get moving.

Please also remember this.  No one has the right to tell you to snap out of something. Life hits different people in different ways for different lengths of time.  It may take a day, a month, or a year to feel okay.  The important part is the eventually being okay. Don’t stay stuck.  Don’t stay lonely. Call someone you trust.  Cry to them.  Scream, yell, punch a pillow!  It’s okay. Just don’t stay there.

So what does the picture below have to do with my blog post?  That mom in the picture.  That’s me.  My five year old is kissing my belly, already fully in love with his baby sister.  The mommy attached to that belly is scared to death.  The daddy in that picture is trying to figure out how to handle that mommy and all of her emotions.  I really didn’t know if I could be a mom of two.  Everyone on Facebook has it together!  How in the world am I going to have it together? Then it happened…that little girl came into this world. I then had a choice to make. Post all the happy stuff.  Talk about the good stuff only.  Put on this mask of perfection.  OR I could be completely real and show both the good and the bad; the perfect and the imperfect; the accomplishments and the failures.  So I chose to be real.

That is also where this blog came from.  I wanted a place to write to those who need to hear the truth.  I wanted a place where it was okay to be real.  You may agree with me.  You may disagree with me.  The point is, you are you…and that is EXACTLY who you are supposed to be.

Psalm 109:  2-4: For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues.  They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause.  In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer.

Lies.  We all hear them.  We all listen to them. We all have probably even said one or two.

I was home by myself with my six year old and my six month old the other night. As I watched them play, laugh, and love; my heart broke.  Why?  Why in such a joy filled moment did my heart fall apart?  Because, in that moment, I felt such a burden for what they would hear from the world throughout their lives.

You see, I have spent my entire life listening to lies.  Lies about what I should look like, lies about how much I should weigh, lies about my career, lies about how I should parent, lies about how to be a good person, and the list goes on.  In the moment mentioned above, I just wanted to grab both of my children and hide. I wanted to hide them from the lies.

They will hear lies.  No matter how hard I try to protect them……….they will hear lies. They will feel bad about themselves at some point.  They will, unfortunately, buy into some of these lies.  And no matter how hard my husband and I try to combat these lies, they will still hear them.  They will still feel them.

So, coming to terms with the fact that the lies will fill a space in my children’s head, the question then became, how do I help them fight against the lies?  How do I undo what the world tells them?  How do I make sure they are strong in who they are?  How do I help them navigate such an awful fact of life, when I myself struggle in this area?

The answer is simple.  I pray.  I pray that God fills their head with truth.  I pray that God gives Kevin and I the words to say when they express the lies they have been told.  I pray that our children will be strong, and stubborn enough, to stand in their truth.  I pray that I can model how to ignore the lies, and seek the truth.

What lies are you currently listening to?  What has this, sometimes ugly, world made you believe about yourself?  Stop listening to the lies.  Pray.  Stand strong.  Find your truth.  Stand against the lies.

You are strong. You are worthy.  You are you, and that is exactly who you are supposed to be.

Kevin and I met when I was 15 years old.  Looking back now, we truly were just babies.  We had NO CLUE what we were in for when I said yes to his invitation out on Valentine’s Day. I swear I was a pity date.  He may say differently.  I will spare you the long, drawn out story of what it took to get to this date. Let’s just say I am glad my parents “strongly suggested” that I say yes if the “cute boy from church” asked me on a date.

I love looking back at old photos. If you know me at all, you know I have thousands.  This picture is of Kevin and I at his junior prom.  We had only been together for three months. I love looking at this photo and remembering everything about young love.  I love seeing how we have changed through the years.  I love thinking about our journey.  And I love thinking about the lessons we have learned along the way. As I think about these lessons, some advice has popped into my head.  You can agree, disagree, or be impartial.  That’s okay.  But this is what I have learned.

The honeymoon stage is real.  For a while, either early in dating, in the engagement period, or in the early stage of marriage, everything is laughs, smiles, gifts, and putting each other first always.  Then, gradually, life happens,  Things happen.  Schedules take over.  Demands become more, and time with each other becomes less.  This is normal. It’s not bad.  It’s how you respond that matters.  Do you continue to fight for your relationship, or do you let the world get in the way?

Bodies change.  Yes, I said it!  Bodies can change for bad or for worse, but they change.  After two kids I can tell you things just aren’t quite the way they used to be.  Too much pizza and ice cream, lack of time to work out, and busy schedules can all contribute. Don’t get attached to looks, get attached to the heart.

Time is important.  When you first get together, all you have is time. You make it a priority to spend as much time together as possible.  But then, jobs happen.  Life happens.  A million people need a million things from you at once.  Sometimes you don’t see each other for a span of time. It is important to still make time for one another.  Even if it is just setting aside a little time for a conversation, do it.

Now, do me a favor.  Look at your significant other.  Really look at him/her. Is this the person you can’t live without? Is this the person that, when you think of the trials that come with life, you want to have by your side?  Is this the person that, regardless of how their body changes, you will always find to be the most attractive person on the planet?  Is this the person you want to argue with, and make up with, for the rest of your life? Is this the person that, when you think about losing them, you hurt inside?  If so, you are doing something right.  You are on the right track. In the tough moments, hang on tight.  You will get through it, and you will get through it together.

This journey isn’t always easy, but it is ALWAYS worth it.

 

Our family has vacationed every year at Dale Hollow Lake.  It is a little slice of Heaven on Earth.  This lake has taught me a lot about life, love, family, friends, and laughter.  I have more Dale Hollow stories than I can count, and sometimes remember.  On a particular day, approximately 8 years ago, I learned a valuable lesson about helping one another, no matter the circumstances.

It was tradition, for a handful of years, to rent a wave runner for a day on the lake.  We did this before Kevin and I purchased a wave runner (that we no longer own because kids are expensive). If you know anything about wave runners and lakes, you know that to get gas, or to dock, there are wave runner docking pads.  You line the wave runner up with this pad, hit the gas, and run the wave runner up onto the docking pad.

On this particular day, our family decided to take a run down the lake to eat at another marina (not the one pictured above) called Sulphur Creek.  This is one of our favorite spots to eat, and we knew they had wave runner docking pads.  My brother Brock rode the wave runner while the rest of us rode in the boat.  Upon arrival, Brock ran the wave runner up on the dock while the rest of us tied the boat up. Everything was running smoothly…..until Brock decided to get off the wave runner.

Brock got off the wave runner to come get his shoes from the boat.  As he stepped off of the wave runner, and onto the wave runner dock, he realized just how slick those docks tend to be.  Two steps into his endeavor, his foot went out from under him, and  he flew backward onto his back….on the wave runner dock. He was fine.  Nothing was hurt, except maybe his pride.We all started laughing hysterically, including Brock.

After seeing all of this take place, my husband Kevin decides he is going to go help his stranded, pride hurt, brother-in-law.  Kevin is a good guy like that. Kevin walked over to the docking pad, stepped down onto the dock, and started to help Brock up.  About two seconds into this rescue mission, we watched as Kevin’s foot slipped, and he fell in the EXACT same way Brock had.  Kevin was also fine, but the rest of us burst into uncontrollable laughter.  The two peas in a pod finally pulled it together enough to help each other back to the safety of the wooden boat dock.  We still laugh to this day when this moment replays in our minds.

This story is hilarious, and I am laughing as I type this. It might be a had to be there to be funny moment, but I guarantee you are cracking at least a smile!

This incident does make me stop and think.  How often have we watched someone do something, get in a bind, and we run to help; only to end up on our back as well? Life experience tells me this happens a lot. We are to help one another, reach out to one another, support one another, and love one another.  We often do this without thinking, even if we just watched that person fall.

What would this world look like if more of us were like Kevin, and run to the aid of each other, rather than standing and laughing?  Help someone.  Talk to someone.  Listen to someone.  Be the person that helps no matter what.

Oh, and if you choose to step into something slightly foolish, make sure the camera is rolling. After all, a good laugh is good for the soul.

This picture was taken the summer after my first year of teaching.  My first year of teaching was full of learning….not just for my students….but mostly for me.  I had the privilege of teaching Kindergarten at Grissom Elementary School in Muncie, IN for the first four years of my career.  I was hired two weeks into the school year when they decided they needed another section of Kindergarten.  This was my dream job.

When I received the call that said I had been hired, everything became a whirlwind. In a matter of days I went from no job to standing in front of a classroom of 28 Kindergarten students. It was exciting, it was fun, and it was terrifying.

One of the MANY lessons I learned that year came in the form of choosing my terminology carefully.

It was math time about two weeks into my career.  I was working on colors with my students.  I had an amazing teacher’s aide in my classroom with me.  I was standing in the front of the room, teaching (I’m sure) an incredibly riveting lesson.  I would ask the students to color a box on their paper a certain color, and then I would ask them to put their crayons up.  As the students were doing this, I was doing it as well on the front board.  I had my back to the students while I was coloring and putting the crayons away.

After about the third color, I heard my teacher’s aide snickering at the back of the room.  As I turned around, it didn’t take me very long to realize what she was laughing at.  What I meant, when telling my students to put their crayon up, was to put it away in their box.  Instead, what was happening was my students would color the box, and then hold their crayon in the air.  They were literally coloring the box and then putting their crayons up…..IN THE AIR!

I started cracking up. I then explained to my precious kiddos that I meant to put the crayons back in their box. They started laughing as well, and we moved on with the lesson. And, yes, I changed my terminology.

How often, in our daily lives, do we say something that is interpreted in a much different way than what we intended.  This has happened to me a lot.  Most of the time, we don’t set out to confuse or tear down one another.  However, our terminology can make all the difference.

The next time you set out to have a conversation with someone, make sure your terminology reflects what you truly mean.  And, please, do not confuse putting your crayons up with putting your crayons away.

If you have been on social media at all in the past year, you have heard or seen the term “Dad Bod.”  There are memes, GIF’s, statuses, pictures, and articles about the dad bod.  In fact, this term has become so popular, you can find it defined on urbandictionary.com as the following:

1) “Dad bod” is a male body type that is best described as “softly round.” It’s built upon the theory that once a man has found a mate and fathered a child, he doesn’t need to worry about maintaining a sculpted physique.

2)Having a “dad bod” is a nice balance between working out and keeping a beer gut

Now, this is not necessarily true of all dad’s. Dad’s come in all shapes and sizes.  The point is, this is often a term of endearment….something to be proud of.

So, what about mom bod?  I have never seen this term used.  I don’t know if it even exists.  We certainly don’t celebrate mom bod.  In fact, most women hear this, and immediately connect something negative to it.  Women, mom’s or not, are super critical of ourselves.  Whether it be our bodies, our image, how we are doing as a parent, how we succeed in our careers, or any millions of other things; you name it…we criticize it.

Let’s face it.  The women in my age bracket are noticing that things aren’t looking the way they used to look.  Mom or not, this is a sign of *gasp* getting older. We all have wobbly bits, loose parts, and things that sag.  I am as guilty as the next person, maybe even more so, of beating myself up over these things.  I am currently working on getting back to pre-second baby weight.  I’m not there yet (yes I know it has only been five months) but I still beat myself up.

What if, we as women, start celebrating the “mom bod?” What if we started creating positive memes, GIF’s, statuses, pictures, and articles celebrating this body we own?  What would this do to our confidence?  This notion of “mom bod” goes against everything we see.  I am aware of that.  What if we started a movement?

Tonight, when you get ready for bed, look in the mirror.  Start telling yourself positive things.  You earned those stripes girl.  You are awesome, you are strong, you are worthy, and you are beautiful.

Mom bods unite!

There is an image often used to describe how someone is feeling about their life.

You see, there is a duck.  In my mind; this duck is a beautiful, white, whimsical duck.  This amazing water fowl is floating aimlessly on the calm waters of Dale Hollow Lake.  Mr. duck appears to not have a care in the world.  However, upon closer inspection, this duck’s webbed feet are paddling rapidly; trying to keep this duck floating on the water.

I have added my own view to this story.  You see, the duck has a calm expression on his face.  It never changes.  Then, all of a sudden, the duck’s face begins to change.  The duck takes on the look of constipation. You know the grimace…the trying to pretend everything is okay…but it truly isn’t?

That’s how life can be.  Many people, regardless of their occupation, can sometimes look like a constipated duck. In fact, I am sure I looked this way this past week. Item after item was piled onto the to do list.  Teaching, being a mom, being a wife, being a church leader, etc.  Everything just kept piling on.  I tried to put on the calm face while paddling like crazy, but I know the grimace began to surface.

So what do you do?  What do you do when you begin to look like the constipated duck?  Do you give in to the thoughts and doubts running through your head?  Do you power through and persevere?  Do you crumble under the pressure?  Do you cry? Do you eat ice cream?  Do you call your best friend and vent?  Do you pray? Do you dig into the bible? Do you go for a run?

For me, I do a combination of things.  I find a way to take the constipated look off of my face.  It might take a day or two, but the stress eventually “passes.”

It’s okay to be a constipated duck.  It happens to all of us.  Just find your way to return to your version of the majestic water fowl that is the white duck.